+The Sun Always Shines On TV+

EMILY LITELLA: What’s all this fuss I hear… about an Eagle Rights Amendment? Now, I realize that the eagle is the symbol for the United States of America. But I wouldn’t like to sit next to one on the bus! Well, I think the eagle’s been treated fair enough! We put them on the back of the quarter, didn’t we? Well, I’m angry! Do those birds expect to vote? They don’t even have fingers to push the little lever in the booth! And they’ll get their wings caught in the curtain! It’ll be a mess! Between you and me, if we give eagles rights, the next thing you know, we’ll have to give rights to pigeons! And then robins! And parakeets! Why, you won’t be able to get a seat in the park! It’ll be the BIRDS sitting on the bench throwing US little pieces of toast! If we’re gonna give birds rights, we’ll have to give them to parrots! At least they can talk! Not the eagle! They don’t do a thing! I —

CHEVY: Miss Litella? Miss Litella?

EMILY LITELLA: What?!

CHEVY: The editorial was in favor of the Equal Rights Amendment. Not Eagle Rights — Equal Rights.

EMILY LITELLA: Equal Rights?

CHEVY: Yes.

EMILY LITELLA: For who?

CHEVY: Well, people, Miss Litella.

EMILY LITELLA: Oh. Well, that’s reasonable.

CHEVY: Yes.

EMILY LITELLA: Never mind!

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