What’s all this fuss I keep hearing about endangered feces? Now, that’s outrageous! Why are feces endangered? How could you possibly run out of such a thing? Why-why just look around you, you can see it all over the place. And besides, who wants to save that anyway? My goodness, where would we keep it?
JANE CURTIN: At a private business gathering in Boston, former California Governor Ronald Reagan said yesterday that if America’s two-party system is to survive, the Republican Party needs a new supporting coalition and a new name. Today, GOP headquarters is being flooded by suggestions for the new name. The most popular of which is “fuck you,” followed by, “eat shit,” and finally, “The Supremes.”
“Six years have gone by and Britney, you and I have so much more in common than I ever thought we would. Our babies were born the same week, you’re 24 but we both look 50 and we’re both married to dirty, sexy wiggas.”
